The Musings of Pfannee
by Merida's Hair
Summary: In which Pfannee reveals her thoughts and inner-most feelings and such. Oneshot.


**A/N: Haven't been working on any Wicked fics for a while. Been musing on a few Glee fic ideas. Life has been…..odd as well. Lots of mayhem going on. Anyway this your typical "plot bunny that's smacks you in the face so hard, you have to write it down, even if it's 3:43 AM and the pillow is literally calling to you" type of fic. This was rather fun to write, so hope you all enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it**

Umm…..Hi?

Hello…..da….da…..da

Okay I have no idea what I'm supposed to write. Seriously. It's like I'm just minding my own business, (covering my new binder with sparkles), and this person comes in, (who I don't know, but she had horrid spilt ends, and was freakishly pale), hands me a piece of paper, (that's not pink), and tells me to write about my innermost feelings and such stuff.

Okay, enough parentheses. Even I'm getting annoyed with them, (and they're like my favorite punctuafication. Ozdamnit! I did it again).

Why I decided to do this task? I ran out of pink sparkles about two minutes ago, and now I only have orange. Ew. I hate orange, and oranges too for the that matter.

Any who I guess I should introduce myself. I am Pfannee Pfen of Pfan Hall. Lets just say my parents got totally un-creative with naming me, and totally forgot the fact that my name sounds like the name for someone's buttocks. And yes I did get teased a lot for it.

Okay back to the subject.

I grew up in Munchkinland, but I'm not a munchkin, rather a Munchkinland. You see munchkins are the farmers and short people, while the Munckinlanders are rather normal height, and are more socialite-y.

Oh my Oz, I just used the word munchkin about….1….2….3…4…5 times in a single paragraph!

Anyway, don't tell anyone please that I live in Munchkinland. My god, it would completely ruin my social status. If it ever got out, I'd end up like Bob (or was it Biq?) and be a lonely weirdo with no one to talk to but Greenie and Wheelchair girl!

Okay, don't tell anyone…but I actually kind of like Greenie. I mean her parents were kind of mean and stupid to name her that….actually her name might be Artichoke. I'm not quite sure.

Back to me kind of liking Greenie. (This name is easier to say).

I mean, she isn't my friend or anything,….but I dunno. I kind of admire her I guess. I mean she always speaks her mind, and I can tell you of countless times I've wanted to do that, but either Shenshen or Galinda give me a look and I know I can't.

Besides I've learned from Greenie, that if you speak out in class because you can barely hear what the teacher is saying, you will get sent to Madame Morrible's office.

And she scares me. A lot. And really, who did her hair? And Her fish-makeup?

Whatever.

It's not like I'd ever try to become friends with her, after all every time she sees me she mumbles airhead under her breath.

And I am not an airhead. I mean I like to talk rather than study, and love shiny things, but I'm not. Oh and sparkles are amazifying too.

Okay, Shenshen has said that when you knock on my head with your fist it kind of sounds hollow, but I don't remember her ever knocking on my head. So she most likely did it when I was asleep, because as everyone knows I'm a really heavy sleeper.

I once slept through an earthquake when I was ten. My mother thought that I had died, and when I finally did wake up, she was screaming at someone to call the morgue.

And….

Hum…..

I've lost my train of thought. But whatever, the point of what I was trying to say was that I sort of kind of not really like Greenie, but I'd never become actual friends with her, because then I'd have to hang out with Biq, and he kind of creeps me out. What with his non-stop staring at Galinda and everything.

On the subject of Galinda anyway…..I secretly want to throttle her. I mean it. And I'm not really a hateful person actually. She just…gets everything she wants and more….has the best clothing that I occasionally do ehem "borrow," is so Ozdamn perky all the times….and….and….ugh! I don't know. She irks me.

In actuality, Shenshen doesn't like her much either, but we both know that if we stop becoming her friend, we won't have any friends.

It's just how life is.

Shenshen's my best friend. My real best friend. Sometimes she can be all mean and horrid, but inside I know she's just doing what she does because she has too, not because she wants to. If it weren't for Shenshen I'd probably be failing out of all my classes right now.

And that means back to Munchkinland. So I can get married, and have lots and lots of children. What fun.

It's not that I don't like the idea of some day becoming a mother; it's just that I want to actually do something with my life. But other people wither say I'm to stupid to ever do anything else, (my parents), or smile and nod and say, "That's nice Pfan. Lets go to sleep now." (Shenshen).

I really want to be an Apothecary, actually. I think it would be good to help other good, because then maybe it would make up for all the times I wasn't very nice to other people. Like when I helped my elementary school friends push Wheelchair girl down a (smallish) hill in Second Grade. I felt super guilty when I saw all the cuts and bruises she still got. I didn't know she was that fragile.

How do you pronounce that anyway? Fragile or fragile?

…that really doesn't transpire well when writing.

If you're wondering, by the way, why I know all these hard-ish words, its because I actually kinda have a photographic memory. But only for hard-ish words. Like it took years to memorizify words like, "dog" "cat" or "house" but it took me just a few minutes to learn "Astrology" or "Ozmopolitan"

Just don't tell Shenshen or Galinda. Or Greenie, Wheelchair Girl, or Biq either for that matter.

Well anyway, Shenshen's back, so I got to go.

She brought back pink sparkles.

-Pfannee Pfen of Pfan Hall

**Please review!**


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